Some Thoughts On Turning 30

'I think I'll take a moment / To celebrate my age / The ending of an era / And the turning of a page...'

Today is my 30th birthday. (Cue balloons, streamers, cake emoji etc.) When I was younger, I thought 30 was old - like really, really old - and now of course I realise that's ridiculous. But it is something I've been thinking about a lot in the last couple of weeks as the milestone has crept up, so I wanted to write down how I felt about

I have to admit that a couple of years ago I wasn't looking forward to turning 30. I think it was because of the fact that there seems to be a weird pressure to have your entire life sorted: to be set in your career, to be married - or at the very least engaged and/or living with your partner, to have bought a house and to be about to start a family. Maybe that's the prevalence of social media, where a lot of people seem to live their lives on fast-forward, but it still seems a bit weird when hopefully I'll have another 30 years on this planet at least to do all those things.

So far I have managed 50% of those; Nick and I will have been married for three years next month and we've been living in our house for just over two years. Yes we would like a bigger place, but given the way the property market is I'm very happy - and incredibly grateful - that we were able to buy a house at all, and although I have moaned about it no end I've actually really enjoyed the process of making it into our own home and will be very sad when/if we eventually have to leave.

I've also been incredibly lucky that in the last 18 months or so I've found the thing I really love (country music writing) and have had some incredible opportunities in that regard - I got published in a magazine (twice), have been to some brilliant gigs (including at least one that I think will be an 'I was there when...' moment), met some genuinely lovely people and built up a pretty decent portfolio of work. Part of me does wish that I'd come to it sooner, but better late than never, right?

Then I think about the things that weren't on that list that I've achieved - travelling, for instance, which I have fallen completely in love with and am desperate to do as much of as possible for as long as I can. And there are the other things I've wanted to do but didn't have the confidence to until recently, like asking for more opportunities at work and being able to push back, as well as the side of me that feels much more inclined to say 'stuff it' and do things because I want to, not because I feel under pressure to do or because other people think I should (within reason, obviously).

There are some things I'm not enjoying about getting older - the white eyebrow hairs (seriously, why???), the hangovers lasting two days, the twinges that remind me to sit up straight and not push myself too hard when I run. But that stuff is inspiring me to make changes in terms of the things I wasn't good at, like investing time in myself - eating better, exercising more, and being more diligent about my skincare routine. And there are the new things I want to learn as well, like how to drive (finally) and being better at planning so that, in the words of Ron Swanson, I stop half-assing two things and whole-ass one thing.

So all in all, I'm feeling pretty good about turning 30. Yes I don't have a perfect life - to be honest though, who does? - but I'm very happy with where I am right now, and looking forward to what's to come. Now bring on the birthday cake...

Oh, and in case anyone's wondering where the lyrics at the start of this post are from, it's 'My Next Thirty Years' by Tim McGraw, which I think sums things up pretty nicely:

1 comment:

  1. Aw happy (belated) birthday! This is so nice to hear - I'm definitely heading towards my late 20s and it's definitely an odd time in life with all the expectations flying around! x